Sunday, May 13, 2012

The Day

Wednesday started like every other. I'd been struggling to wake up early, it's getting towards the end of the school term and the tiredness of early mornings, uni work, kids, housework, it gets to you! So we woke up a little late, and I rushed out the door to drop Jaidan and Chase off at school, and Ashton off at prekinda. I came home and grabbed a couple of things then spent the next hour shopping. I enjoyed Wednesday mornings because it was just Elijah and I and we could walk around the supermarket slowly and grab our groceries. He was always so cute on Wednesdays. People would giggle at him as we passed them because he'd be laughing or jabbering away, or playing peek a boo with people as we passed.

Once I'd done the shopping, I walked inside and dumped it all on the table. I popped the cold stuff away and decided that I'd put the rest away later. I rushed off and paid some of my accounts with the local businesses. Account from new tyres, account from fixing the doors... when you live locally and you're someone who struggles, people are always willing to let you pay off your expenses. Once I'd done those things, I picked up Ash up from pre kinda and then we came home to grab the tubs of clothes and books and stuff we had ready for our nicknack table. Today we were going up to the local 'hood'. They had a birthday celebration on and we'd organised to have a table selling second hand bits and pieces from home. I'd planned to try and get rid of some things to save for our big move to WA in January.
The celebration was amazing! There were rides for the kids, horses and ducks, lots of play equipment, facepainting, BBQ. It went off without a hitch and before long there was a lot of people there. I'd done well on my table within the first couple of hours of sitting there so I was happy. The 2 little ones were having a ball! I'd ducked home a couple of times to grab things I'd forgotten, so had to leave my table unattended which I didn't like. When it was getting close to school knock off time, it was getting pretty busy to I rushed to the school to get the boys 20 minutes early and beat the rush. The kids had the best time there. I'm so glad we went as it's something nice for them to remember from that day.

A while later, my neighbour came up and said there was a fire in our street, and that his partner had gone to make sure it wasn't either of our places. I laughed and joked "better not be my house!" ... you never think it will be you. Someone else said it was on the other side of the road so I didn't worry about it, and had completely forgotten about it in the excitement of everything that was happening.

A little while later, I was having a chat to a lady when 2 police came over and said they'd like to speak to me in private. The whole world spun because I knew something bad had happened. The words "there has been a fire" are burnt into my mind. They informed me that there was probably nothing salvagable.

Once they'd told me the news, I am came out of the room and there were people there. I am so grateful for a certain someone at this point, Retts, who was the first person I saw when I came out and she just comforted me while I cried. Then she took my biggest boys to her house. At a time like that, it's the little things that mean the most. I will never forget the feeling of walking out of the gates with everyone staring at you. I feel sick just thinking about it.

Pulling up and seeing the house standing I thought maybe it wasn't as bad as the police had said. If the house wasn't a pile of smouldering embers, surely it can't be that bad inside. The fire brigade didn't want to take me in. They said they would prefer if I didn't but if I really wanted to they would. I chose at that time not to. It was hard enough without seeing immediately how bad it was. Looking back, I'm glad I didn't. I was barely holding together, and seeing what I saw the next day would have ruined me.

By the time I had talked to the fire brigade, and the police, it was late. My 2 littlest boys were asleep in the car. The worst feeling in the world is not knowing what to do. I'm not one who usually feels hopeless. There is always something that can be done about most situations. But at that moment I felt sick to the stomach. I am so lucky to have such an amazing real estate because by the time we'd finished my RE agent had organised us a house for emergency accommodation, and it was fully furnished, and she'd also gotten a bag of clothes for my littlest boy and some toys.

Having somewhere to go for the night was invaluable. Though I didn't sleep much that night, it meant the world that the boys had somewhere safe and warm to be and it was one less worry off my mind.

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