Monday, May 14, 2012

Today has been hard.

I dropped the big boys off at school, and the 2 little ones at daycare because I was supposed to start going through the house with the cleaning people. They have to write a list of every single thing they chuck out so we can price it and get the insurance claim put through.

It was so horrible leaving Elijah today. He was so upset when we pulled up. I'm always honest with him. I told him when we were driving there that today he was going to child care with Ashton and he'd have a play and I'd come back and get him. He kept telling me no and starting to sook. So I already knew it would be hard to leave him but I had no idea how upset he'd get today.

When we got there I had to drag him in screaming. Any other time I would have just taken him home instead of leaving him so upset, but I had to go to the house and he couldn't be there with glass everywhere, not to mention the smell and the air can't be good for his lungs. So he followed me around crying to go back to the car. When I left him, he clung to my hands screaming and kicking, so I ran out pretty quickly as I couldn't hold the tears back.

When I got to the house, I just couldn't handle it. I stayed for a little while and then I cried. I asked them if I could leave and they said I didn't have to be there. So I left and went back and picked up Elijah. When I got back to the centre, he was sitting at the table eating fruit but had big fat tears rolling down his cheeks. When he saw me he just clung to my neck and sobbed his little heart out. I'm tearing up just writing this. He was just so upset and it absolutely broke my heart. The poor little guy has been through so much this last week. I'm glad I picked him up.

He's fallen asleep on the couch so I snuck off to write this. Writing has become my outlet. I haven't been able to sleep but find I sleep better when I've got out what's on my mind. I'm hoping this whole insurance thing is quickly over, so we can talk about where to from now. I'm still undecided about what I'm doing. It seems silly to start here again only to move in 6 months. It seems mean though to move the kids with 1 term left of school. Luckily I have 5 more weeks to think about it.


  1. It's so strange to think in the space of a week, we have both lost everything in two completely different ways.

    My heart aches so much for you M.

    My heart aches for the boys.

    Every day I wake up I think to myself "it's another day down. I can get through this day too".

    Every day is a new day M. Just remember that.

    Big love to you hunny xxx

    1. Ok I feel like the worst friend in the world. I think a blog catch up is in order because I don't know what's going on with you. Hope you're ok xxx

  2. That's okay :) I get behind with my bloghopping too.

    If you haven't read it yet, I'll tell you.

    I finally left. Finally.